The one thing about life is nobody ever really tells you how hard it is, all the years of growing up nothing really prepares you for what to expect as the years roll on.
I mean if you think about it how could anyone really prepare you for what life brings? You live your life for numerous years thinking things are one way, then you find out things are the complete opposite from what you thought.
Sometimes you look at family members and even some of them are not who you thought they were. The people who died in my family were the ones who kept everything together.
I grew up knowing that the family in the house I grew up in would always be the most important influences on my life, I always knew whatever happened with them that I would intend to always protect them if I had to.
My brother Mike is probably one of the greatest human beings I've ever known, never has there ever been a time where he wasn't there for me in every single way.
Mike is one of those people who always says whats on his mind good or bad, the people who don't understand that side of him don't realize what a big heart he has.
Growing up I never had any confidence but Mike did, there was always something about him where you always believed in him no matter what he did.
Then I look on over to my sister Michelle, I have to say out of anyone in my entire life I've never been so disappointed in someone.
You look at my sister she is absolutely gorgeous, she can write she can speak well there is nothing she is not smart enough for, and the way she just ruins everything is frustrating.
Sometimes I wonder how she could even live with herself with some of the things she does or says, it hurts everyday that someone so close to me could be such an evil person.
What mind boggles me about her is how she could be the way she is when her my brother and I probably come from the two best parents in the world.
My mother is the kind of mom that will fight to the end for you, nothing will ever get in her way when it comes to her family.
No matter where I am no matter what I'm doing, I always make sure I make it clear to everyone that I love my mother more than anything.
I look at my father when it comes to me he can be really confusing at times, I always feel like I will never be what he wants me to be.
My dad is not one of those people who will tell you when your doing good, he will always point out the things to need to do to be better at things.
The thing about my father is you can see deep down he is a very loving man, my dad's problem is he don't realize how great he is.
If my father realized how great he was he would probably be a lawyer now or something, my dad had a chance to really go far in Baseball but chose to be a father instead.
My dad had the world and he chose to pretty much give it up so he could try to give his three kids a better life.
The one thing I wish my dad realized is sometimes a kid just needs to hear you did good, sometimes you just need to feel good about who you are and what your doing.
So many times I didn't feel like I was good enough for anything, even when it comes to relationships my confidence is never there, I always expect the worst to come out of everything.
See my father didn't realize it thats why having my mother there was always great for me, my mom always told me when I did something good and then some haha.
When I lost my grandmother on my moms side in November of 2011 it was really hard, we all know people die when they get old but something about it just tore me up inside.
You see people's true colors come out during times of death, I never thought my sister would be one of those people who wanted to make money off a death in the family.
When my sister heard about my grandmothers death all she wanted was proof, I later found out she wanted proof so she could try and get some money.
My grandma was a little old lady who lived by herself and the fact there was people looking for handouts including my own sister makes me sick.
The whole thing showed me how horrible life can be, to be honest it was all in continuation of what the other side of my family did when my uncle Jimmy died.
I had a girlfriend for over 3 and a half years that I grew up with, she lives two houses away which made things a lot tougher during the hard times.
For some reason she never trusted me, for some reason she just didn't seem like she really cared all that much about me once we reached 2 to 3 years of dating.
She didn't realize from the point of even going to High School with her I always wanted to ask her to be with me, everyday I saw her I knew she was the one I wanted to be with.
Like I felt in my heart she would eventually come to me when I asked her out in later years, everyday of being with her even during the fights I knew there was nobody else I wanted to be with.
I always looked at her as if she were the most beautiful person on earth, I only wish she saw what I saw because she was amazing in every way.
She would end things leaving me confused not knowing why, I still to this day never really got closure on the matter not the way most couples of 3 and a half years do.
Finally instead of worrying about my extended family and the love of my life I took a gigantic step back, I decided to only worry about the things I can control.
I know the people in my immediate family with the exception of my sister are people I can love and trust.
I look at my niece and nephew it reminds me of whats important in life, I don't worry about the stupid things anymore or at least I try not to.
My point that I'm making is life will throw all sorts of garbage at you, you have to keep it in mind the things that are really important to be who you want to be.
I learned that I work best with kids its what I do, I don't care if its for free or whatever I love every minute of coaching I wouldn't give it up for anything.
I learned I wasn't put here for myself, I was put here to help children.
Everyone reading this who feels down about things, just think about something you can do to help others and just do it.
Love the world because you only live once, life is not easy nor will it ever be so why kill yourself trying to figure out why?
Just think about doing something that will make the world a better place, think about what you can do to make sure there is peace around you.
Love everyone because the problem with this world is its filled with so much hate people don't realize how much time we all waste being angry.
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